Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Family and Lace


Well, I start this post with an apology and a new story. I was wrong, yes, it does happen from time to time ha ha, it isn’t “étoile d'araignée, it’s “toile d'araignée” and so here is the new story that must come from the ‘new’ meaning…
Family and Lace
A family is like fine lace or a thick lacy doily, something beautiful made up of knots. It takes time, love and patience to make lace. It takes learning and dexterity and the ability to see what lies beyond the work, the beauty and strength that will eventually come of the toil.
My family is in a state of flux right now, like so many these days, or anytime really. Circumstances can tangle even the straightest threads and it’s up to us as to how we untangle them.  Here are some of those twisted lines that we, as a family, are all trying to manage…
One cousin is in Afghanistan, no need to elaborate there. One cousin is on a road trip to visit her estranged father, my uncle, to make peace with herself about their relationship. My other uncle is fighting to keep a job he’s had for over 20 years because his supervisor is threatened by his success.
My daughter, who went to France to practice French,  to discover what it means to actually live in another country, not just visit, is finding her au pair experience very challenging and not always in a good way. At this moment she has left for vacation since her charges are staying with their grandparents for a few weeks. This will give her time to suss out what she is going to do to change the situation, or leave.
My son is taking on the musical life and all that means to a young single man. He’s still dependent upon us for the necessary stuff, insurance, cell phone, etc. It’s our way of supporting his choice. He’s found a new part-time job, is finishing his degree after a mix up, and is recording a demo! He’s working hand in hand with another one of my cousins, who himself is trying to make a go of his self employment. 
My sister is in the middle of a huge mess that was not of her making, or choice, in her work. She saw it coming, and even before getting blown out of the water, was looking elsewhere to see what she could do next. Stress is high in her and her family’s life right now, higher than it’s ever been and they are dealing with it as best they can. All the rest of the family can do is support them, be there for them when they can let us in, and hold on for the ride.
My husband is overworked, but happy to have a great job. I’m working on selling, writing, marketing, and keeping stress from taking over my little slice of the world.
So these are some of our family knots. The multitude and diversity of threads with which this family is made are strong. Our lace is colorful and difficult at times but held together by the master weaving of those that came before. We all have this lace in our lives and there are always spiders haunting that web, keeping us on our toes. Yes, “toile d'araignée” means Spider’s lace, really, in French. My husband thought it cute I mistook “étoile” for “toile”, Star for Lace. They are both beautiful. They are both signs of strength, beauty and utility. I’m glad I made the error I did so that I could then share this story with you, too.
Our family is in the midst of many challenges, many opportunities for growth and learning. Sometimes it’s hard to see the beauty of the lace that holds us together, that makes dealing with these sometimes confounding, sometimes amazing, issues possible. We are family. Together and apart we have woven a beautiful lace of life that will hold; that will endure. And we will continue to weave it together just like the spider who, when the web is torn, repairs it tirelessly, over and over again.
I must leave you with a little humor, take a gander at my sister and her daughter a few years ago... talk about bug eyes!!! I know we'll see these smiles again soon. Love, Light and Peace to you all in your own family laces...

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