First Post of the New Year 2013

 

I didn’t write on this blog over the holidays because of two reasons.

1. I wanted a real vacation from writing and being stuck in my head. 

2.  is complicated and is the reason for this post.

I love Christmas songs/carols. They always brighten the festive feel of the time of year and help when stress tries to worm its way into my brain and take precedence.  But this past Christmas something was different. Beginning near the end of November I realized that the songs weren’t hitting the mark they way they usually did for me. This time the songs weren’t working, especially when I heard John Lennon’s “And So This is Christmas.” Usually I love this song, I know all the words, I always sing along and imagine that we really don’t WANT war anymore. But every time I heard it this past season I just got mad. I couldn’t understand why, at first. Why I wasn’t rejoicing in the season—and remember, this was before the Newtown tragedy (which only made me feel worse)—until I thought about what those songs/carols were about.

Why do we play these songs on the radio when we so clearly aren’t striving for these kinds of tragedies “to be over?” War still marches on, all over our planet in all kinds of guises. People still kill one another for whatever reason they believe is justifiable. Religion seems to be part of the problem (think “holy wars or crusades” and “If you’re not with us, you’re against us”), but not all of it. No, to over simplify (maybe, but it IS a HUGE reason), Greed is the reason. Greed to have whatever it is “us”/“they” think we/they need/want/deserve.

I felt the tragedy of broken dreams in this past holiday more clearly than the joy: the hypocrisy of it, the lie of it, the lip service that we won’t put action to.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved spending time with my family and loved ones. That is always a blessing to me no matter what. But this season I became aware of how lucky I was to have the money to drive to see them, buy them presents, and drink to their health and longevity. How lucky I am to have a life that is good and, in these days, plentiful in the sense that I’m not living in a war zone or starving, or enduring a horrible tragedy. To this day I grieve for those who lost a part or parts of themselves in Newtown. I know they will grieve forever. Christmas will never be the same for them again. For me either, but in a different way. My head is out of the preverbal sand. I can’t pretend anymore when I hear Christmas songs that next year everyone might “see the light.” I’m sorry to have lost my “innocent” wonder of, and joy in, those lovely songs and carols, and their meanings, but I’m even sorrier for the reasons behind that loss.

Am I depressed about this? Yes and no. I still have my life to live, as do we all. My resolution then, for 2013, is not about losing weight or being a better person or getting another book published (well those are in there too). But those resolutions now come after my first goal, which is to remember “More is not always Better,” and to be compassionate, to judge less and to help those in need around me, to send what I can to charities I know do the good works that John Lennon sings about in his song, and to remember that “my world” is not the only “world” on this planet. I need to remember, we ALL need to remember that others lives and customs are different from ours and we shouldn’t make decisions for them without knowing what those lives and customs are. In other words, “Judge not another person until you walk a mile in their shoes.” Maybe by December of this year I’ll listen to my favorite Christmas songs and carols and once again feel their magic. Maybe, but I’m not going to hold my breath.

Images from:

 

http://www.weekly.ahram.org.eg

http://christopher-conservativeperspective.blogspot.com/2012/12/2013.html

http://anneortelee.com/?cat=3

Eating Our Way Through a French Christmas

Buche de Noel

I have spent four days trying to catch up to myself on line. I think I’ve been fairly successful. I have more to do (always) but finally feel ready to get back to my revisions on two works in progress. Our trip to France for the holidays was much more than a “vacation” for both my husband and I. For him it was a journey to reconnect with his other life there, the one that came before me. For me I discovered just how much his “other life” there has become mine as well. I fell in love with France all over again and not just because of the food!  Which, of course, is amazing. I’ve posted little on this blog about the trip but only because I needed time to settle in enough to write beyond a sentence.  I didn’t write at all while I was there. I thought I would have the time and space to write but obviously I was meant to have a different experience. Instead I went on to spend time with my daughter whom I haven’t seen in almost nine months, develop an even closer bond with my “other” mother-in-law (belle mere in French meaning pretty mother) than I already had, and enjoy the chance to eat with at least 70 to 85 people over the entire three weeks. That is a lot of folks to break bread with.

Cheeses and Saucisson

Can you imagine how much food that is to consume?! From pain au raisin or fresh bread (with homemade jams) in the mornings to Fois Gras, saucisson, salads, veggies and pâtes for lunch, to oysters, magret de canard or confit de canard for dinner. With hot meals, cold meals, desserts, before dinner drinks with hors d’oeuvres, after dinner drinks, pastries, cheeses (hundreds of different kinds) fruits and “Bûche de Noël” one can become overwhelmed.  This doesn’t even count all the wine and champagne! I came home not wanting to eat another anything.

12 dozen oysters!

The fun part about eating in France, especially during a holiday season like this one, my first Christmas ever in France by the way, is the company one has while ingesting.  Meals just wouldn’t be the same without the people. You always hear about how long the French take to eat. The French (most anyway) like to talk when making their way through their meal. They talk and listen to catch up on whatever there is to catch up on. And usually with us, since we’re only there once a year (if we’re lucky and get to go even that much), there is much to discuss, to laugh over and of course we have to sing along with my husband and his guitar to all the oldie French songs no one hears on the radio anymore.

I love Fois Gras period.

This Christmas, everywhere we went, I looked around me at all the wonderful people I call friends or family. I took in each one and what they meant individually to me. I listened to the stories of their lives, their cares and woes or successes and happiness’s. I didn’t find it difficult to be truthful when I shared how much it meant to me to be with them. I felt almost as if I were in a dream intended to show me the essence of what friends and family are. Mostly I felt so damn lucky to be there; to experience the individual characteristics, accents, perfections and imperfections that make up each one of these people that shared this time with me, and, to have the feeling reciprocated was part of the magic. Yes. People are what life is about.

Now I am back to writing, to spending all day alone with my computer and I find I’m not unhappy about that like I thought I would be after such a rousing and emotional time amongst the living and breathing.  I find myself exploring with new people online and hoping we will in some way help each other in this new year to be the successful happy people we all want to be.  I can’t make this journey as a writer completely alone. I see that now.  I need not only the living and breathing in my space, hugging me, loving me and talking to me, I also need my “virtual” friends to help me remember I’m not alone in the adventure called being a writer. So here’s a toast to all my loved ones no matter which continent you live on. Here is another to the new “Virtual’ friends coming into my life; may you continue to do what we love to do so much, making stories into novels or articles or whatever it is that you do with your words, and, make money doing it! Happy New Year all!