Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts

Thursday, June 13, 2013

When The Student is Ready, The Teacher Will Appear



An example of what we do in my writing group: pick words or phrases and make a story up. (I was behind so used more than one.) My words here are: Jack, fat free, abacus, and "place where people go for enlightenment."

Jack lay back on his freshly made bed and sighed. This was another beginning of another day that, in spite of his efforts, would be just like all the others that had come before. More days than an abacus had beads, and he now knew that the only thing he could be sure of was their unalterable consistency.  He groaned, rolled over and stood, all the while wondering why he should even go about the day as he always did. And yet there remained that barest temptation of hope.
In the beginning he’d been full of hope, and assurance. He knew he would be the one to crack the code, the one who would open the door for humankind to that sacred of all sacreds. That end to war and suffering, judgment and cruelty: the end of belief and the beginning of surety. At the start of this, he’d spent so much time in the lab, in his office researching and interviewing, traveling on planes, trains and buses that he’d gained not so much wisdom, but weight. Even though a tall man, his doctors had forced him to diet. He’d eaten almost completely fat free until he’d lost one hundred and fifty pounds over two years. Who needed miracles when you had his self confidence, his dedication to whatever course he chose to follow?
And yet here he was shutting the door of his simple apartment behind him on his way back to his unsatisfying work. Whenever he traveled now he took care to monitor his intake of food, he took care to exercise with whatever means he was presented with and had stayed a healthy 190. Yes, he still traveled. Yes, he had witnessed marvelous things, talked with the spiritual and intellectual greats of the present, visited the holiest and most inspiring sites the world over. He’d taken years to read the greats of the past, present, and tried to anticipate those that the future would bring. He kept to his path, to his goal. But his spirit no longer warmed with expectation. His mind no longer hummed with curiosity, his body now felt heavy with gravity and the solitude of the unfulfilled.
He waved his usual hello to the other holistic scientists he shared a lab with at the Divinity of Life University where he worked, taught and studied. Thirty years on and what did he have to show for it? His colleagues, students and even those masters with whom he had sought the great wisdoms all praised him for his diligence, his foresight, his unusual depth of spirit and understanding, his fascinating lectures and prowess in introducing free-thinking for those willing to listen and learn. Yet he felt himself a farce. He had made promises, sworn to search until he found what everyone hoped one day to find. Thirty years on he still had not found that enviable and much anticipated place of enlightenment. Thirty years and he felt no closer to halting the destruction of the planet and its people than he had when he began.
And yet…  
Jack sat in his chair at his desk, glanced at his work, but then swiveled instead until he faced the large picture window usually at his back.  He stared at the blue sky washed with white and grey clouds, stared at the deep green of the trees standing in the hot sun, stared at the cool dark shadows they cast on the earth and pavements and wondered, was that really the truth? His truth? Had nothing he’d learned in all this time given him a means to find what he searched for? Could it be he was still a student looking for the right teacher?
A woman, slight with long nutmeg hair streaming down her back, walked toward his building. He knew her. She was also a researcher but not in his field. She, Tamera Heleksenis, searched instead for cures to medical diseases and apparently was having some satisfying, actually amazing, results.  She was American Indian, from the Seminole tribe in Florida, on the other side of the country. Her name, Heleksenis, meant life or spirit in her language and Jack thought it fitting for one who tried to save lives. Jack had talked with her a few times at faculty meetings or social events over the last five years since she’d joined the faculty, hence his knowledge about her. Without conscience thought, he let his eyes follow her progress as she neared the entrance. She stopped. Her gaze flowed up the building windows until it came to rest upon his. When their eyes met he felt a physical, deep and powerful, wonder/lust/admiration all melded into one emotion of lonely desire. He stood and pushed closer to the window. He reached up, his hands touching the glass as if he could touch her through it. She remained still, staring up at him while rooted to the spot she stood upon. She let her books fall, her purse. She raised her hands and held them fingers wide, like his, mirroring his motion. When she smiled he laughed. He laughed out loud as unaccustomed tears slid down his face. He put his hands together as if in prayer and her hands mimicked his. He turned from the window and ran.
Jack ignored the elevator and took the stairs down to the lobby.  Tamera stood beside the reception counter, now cluttered with her things collected from the ground. Her arms were empty but not her face or her body. Her face smiled with all the light of the sun upon it, flushed and radiant. Her body fairly vibrated with answering emotion. How had he never seen her beauty? How had he never noticed these emotions being called forth by her presence?
“Tamera,” he could barely breathe.
“Yes… Jack.”
“Yes.”
Recognition. It was the only word that came to him to guide his heart to where he knew it had to live from now on.  “I never knew,” he said. “Not before today.”
“I know. I’ve been waiting for you.”
“You knew?”
“Every day for five years I have walked to this building. Every day I stop and look up to your window. Today is the first day you have looked back.” She held out one hand. He took it, felt its warmth seep into his arm and all the way up to his heart.
“I am so sorry.”
“Should you be sorry?” she asked.
“Five years is a long time.”
“Yes, but not compared to the time we will now share together.”
“I have felt so empty.”
“Until this moment your heart has been closed. You have looked outside of yourself for your answers.”
“Do you think I can now find what I’ve searched for?”
“You, the teacher are asking me?”
“I have been a student longer than I've been a teacher.”
“I know only that before you searched this world with your mind, your eyes and ears. Now you may search with your heart.”
“My heart.”
“Yes.”
Jack stepped closer, took her other hand as well and kissed her.  He wallowed in her smile when they let the kiss go. He said, “For the first time in my life I think I will not mind being a partner. Being one of two, instead of one alone.”
“If our union can help you understand that everyone has a need to be with others, and therefore help you in your quest that is good. I promise, however, I will help you to remember that we are more than that.”
Jack couldn’t look away from her happiness. He returned it, grinned like a fool and felt reborn. This then, was the answer he had searched for. He needed only to learn how to apply it.
“Like now,” she said as she kissed him again, gently clearing his mind, bringing his heart back to hers.
“Please do,” he said as gravity lifted from his shoulders and the weight of time left his soul. The enlightenment of love took its rightful place.  “Tamera, I have a feeling you are going to be an excellent teacher.”


 Images from:



Tuesday, January 08, 2013

First Post of the New Year 2013



 

I didn’t write on this blog over the holidays because of two reasons.
1. I wanted a real vacation from writing and being stuck in my head. 
2.  is complicated and is the reason for this post.

I love Christmas songs/carols. They always brighten the festive feel of the time of year and help when stress tries to worm its way into my brain and take precedence.  But this past Christmas something was different. Beginning near the end of November I realized that the songs weren’t hitting the mark they way they usually did for me. This time the songs weren’t working, especially when I heard John Lennon’s “And So This is Christmas.” Usually I love this song, I know all the words, I always sing along and imagine that we really don’t WANT war anymore. But every time I heard it this past season I just got mad. I couldn’t understand why, at first. Why I wasn’t rejoicing in the season—and remember, this was before the Newtown tragedy (which only made me feel worse)—until I thought about what those songs/carols were about.
Why do we play these songs on the radio when we so clearly aren’t striving for these kinds of tragedies “to be over?” War still marches on, all over our planet in all kinds of guises. People still kill one another for whatever reason they believe is justifiable. Religion seems to be part of the problem (think “holy wars or crusades” and “If you’re not with us, you’re against us”), but not all of it. No, to over simplify (maybe, but it IS a HUGE reason), Greed is the reason. Greed to have whatever it is “us”/“they” think we/they need/want/deserve.
I felt the tragedy of broken dreams in this past holiday more clearly than the joy: the hypocrisy of it, the lie of it, the lip service that we won’t put action to.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved spending time with my family and loved ones. That is always a blessing to me no matter what. But this season I became aware of how lucky I was to have the money to drive to see them, buy them presents, and drink to their health and longevity. How lucky I am to have a life that is good and, in these days, plentiful in the sense that I’m not living in a war zone or starving, or enduring a horrible tragedy. To this day I grieve for those who lost a part or parts of themselves in Newtown. I know they will grieve forever. Christmas will never be the same for them again. For me either, but in a different way. My head is out of the preverbal sand. I can’t pretend anymore when I hear Christmas songs that next year everyone might “see the light.” I’m sorry to have lost my “innocent” wonder of, and joy in, those lovely songs and carols, and their meanings, but I’m even sorrier for the reasons behind that loss.
Am I depressed about this? Yes and no. I still have my life to live, as do we all. My resolution then, for 2013, is not about losing weight or being a better person or getting another book published (well those are in there too). But those resolutions now come after my first goal, which is to remember “More is not always Better,” and to be compassionate, to judge less and to help those in need around me, to send what I can to charities I know do the good works that John Lennon sings about in his song, and to remember that “my world” is not the only “world” on this planet. I need to remember, we ALL need to remember that others lives and customs are different from ours and we shouldn’t make decisions for them without knowing what those lives and customs are. In other words, “Judge not another person until you walk a mile in their shoes.” Maybe by December of this year I’ll listen to my favorite Christmas songs and carols and once again feel their magic. Maybe, but I’m not going to hold my breath.

Images from:
 

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Research in the Writer's Life



I have spent the last few weeks researching for my WIP. I love research but have felt guilty about not getting a significant number of words on file. About not posting to my blog in quite some time. I do feel putting forth words toward my WIP is the most important, but I don’t want to not post to my blog either. Having a blog keeps me focused on using my imagination or acknowledging subjects that are important to me or that I feel might be important to someone out there reading my blog.
Speaking of interesting subjects, I’m researching Unitarian Universalist ministry, the theology schools; how long it takes to become ordained, the degrees, the investment and what it might mean to one of my characters, Jack, to take on this important work. Research can be so meaningful, fulfilling. I learn something new every day and love that. Figuring out how to integrate it into the work is another story, but one just as challenging as finding the nuggets of interest that will add to the story, to Jack’s character, the depth of who he is.
For instance, I hadn’t realized that our President went to a Unitarian church for a short while in his youth in Hawaii. That some of the press tried to use this fact against him and even went so far as to label basically anyone “too” liberal as communist, as if they really knew what that was. Because if they really knew, there is no way they’d call a liberal and a communist the same thing. But be that here or there, I was surprised to hear of the connection in our president’s life to my own. I was raised in a Unitarian church and as best as I can recollect, I enjoyed the experience. I enjoyed my church family.
I have recently read an article from the UUworld.org website that touched on Pres. Obama’s time in the UU church and how he eventually chose the church and faith he could live and believe in. 
Here is the article link if you care to read it:
This article speaks to me and my character Jack, as it forms the basis for his reasoning in becoming a UU minister. He wants to have a positive impact on youth, on their lives and their faith. Jack wants to help create family for those who don’t have it, within their hearts or without because that is something he himself needs as well. Of course he doesn’t realize this at first.
This research is allowing me to see into Jack’s soul, his mind, and the life lesson he will gain in this story. Jack and I are beginning a ride that might turn out to be quite wild. I hope it will also be a long and fruitful one.

Images from the UUworld.org website