Participating in the “First Loves” blog got me to thinking
about what came after the first? Now it’s true what I wrote about my first
love, but this does not mean I haven’t gone on to find someone even more
important. Because I did, have done, and even though it took me awhile to figure
out what “true love” really means, I did eventually get there!
My “Love of my Life” has come to me on slow but steady
wings. I did not always pay him the due he was owed, but then neither did he
with me. We took things too seriously. We had issues to work on like anyone else. A long time ago I saw a
movie that I think was called “Baggage.” All through this movie a woman is
carrying a suitcase that gets progressively heavier as her life plays out. I
don’t remember how it ends (I was 8 or 10 maybe at the time?) but I remember
the message. Everyone has baggage that they carry with them and bring to any
relationship they have.
It’s what we do with that baggage that defines us. You watch
any movie, read any book, listen to any broadcast and you find baggage behind
that emission. Whether it’s fiction or
non-fiction there is always back story and it influences the conclusion of that
emission.
My husband and I’s back stories/baggage/history got us in a
lot of trouble to begin with. But we stuck out our “marriage” together. I think
in reality that we each saw something in the other that we wanted more than we
wanted our individual baggage. I don’t know what the future holds for us but
what I do know is that we honestly made mistakes and worked through them to
find ourselves better people, and so have a future to look forward to. We had A
LOT of help doing this. By no means did we do it in a bubble.
What I have come away with is the truth of my love for this
man. I am cradled in his love for me and feel blessed for it. But what truly
astonishes me and makes me smile is that I have learned how to love with no
expectations and a lot less ego. I love unconditionally, not in the Hollywood sense
but in the real, down-to-earth, life-is-real sense. He is the love of my life
and I am both grateful and excited that I found this out while I/we still have
time to enjoy it, and boy do we!
