A Story of Two Rings

Amber and Tristan Buie-Collard

Our son Tristan, married this past May—on Mother's Day no less—a lovely young woman named Amber. We had two week's notice of the event and were on fast forward from the moment they called us till the day of the wedding. Shortly after the announcement, Tristan called again worried that he couldn't afford an engagement ring for his intended before the ceremony. I said she knew that and would understand. I asked him about rings for the wedding and he said they didn't have those either. I volunteered to see what we might have they could borrow.

Amongst my jewelry I knew I had a lovely band my husband had given me for our 25th anniversary that I never wear because it is too big for me. It was an 18 carat gold ring with a band of platinum around the center cut to look like it has diamonds in it. We had nothing for Tristan. So, needing to see what size my ring was compared to Amber's ring size (6 1/2 I found out from her mom) I took it in to our jewelers and had it measured. It was a 6 1/2. Perfect! I also asked the jeweler about having the ring dipped so that it would be completely silver in color, since Amber only wears silver jewelry. No problem there and though it would start to wear off in about 6 months, it would work fine for the wedding. Then I asked if they had anything I could get inexpensively for our son. Yes, they had a stainless steel ring that looked very nice. Tristan had told me his ring size was 11. I double-checked with him because that seemed large. He assured me it was the correct size.

So, we get up to North Carolina from south GA and our son tries his ring on and of course it's too big. Tristan tried on his father's ring and it fit perfectly, so we thought he could borrow it for the wedding and we'd get the other in a different size once we got back home. Everything was settled, we thought.

But my mother was still bothered about the ring situation for Tristan. The morning of the wedding we are all at my mother's getting ready and my mother decides to have one more look in her and her husband's jewelry boxes. Low and behold, what does she find but a man's ring, sterling silver with a band of Amber around it. Yes, Amber. I know, right? I'm surprised she didn't scream. Instead she dashed over to our son, made him try it on, and...it fit perfectly!

So the two were married with wonderful rings and we were all immensely happy. Later, after the ceremony, we told Amber the story of her ring. We offered that if she wanted to keep it she could, or give it back if and when she found something else she liked better. And then, after she'd heard the story of Tristan's ring, she said that she wanted to let the silver dipping wear off. I asked why and she said, "Because Tristan's ring is silver with a band of gold in the middle, and mine will be gold with a band of silver in the middle. Our rings will match in reverse." It was an "awwww" moment for sure!

The Two Rings

The next morning when she came into the kitchen at my mother's house where we were all staying (their honeymoon will come later), I greeted her with a "Good morning Mrs. Buie-Collard!" We all laughed and she hugged me hard. She is the only other Mrs. Buie-Collard in the world besides me!

Some things are meant to be. I think my husband bought the ring for me 6 years ago because somehow it was meant for Amber. I think my mother wouldn't give up her search for a ring for Tristan because she knew/remembered somewhere deep inside, that there existed a ring, THE ring, encircled by amber, waiting for Tristan who had chosen a bride named Amber to encircle him.

Yep, they have fun together!

Two Weddings and a Happy Mother

Weddings

Welcome and wonderful

Even if a bit stressful

Diaphanous  gowns and

Decorations to suit,

Intriguing reasons and

No unhappy tears

Grooms who love their brides

Smash all thoughts of doubt and give freedom to joy!

My husband and I have much to celebrate this month and next month. Both of our lovely adored children will be marrying their chosen partners; our son on Mother's Day, yes, this month, and our daughter on June 27th, yes next month! We have known of our daughter's for over a year, the other was announced last Thursday!

They are both so very happy, how can I not be? I am lucky that both my husband and I will be at both ceremonies. We are lucky that both of our loves have chosen wonderful people to share their lives with.

Thank goodness I've had a year dealing with my daughter's wedding, to help me know what needs to be done and how to get it done for my son's. Thank goodness all of my family lives up in Asheville, NC where the ceremony will take place, and that they have helped in such a way that all is running, so far, very smoothly and we have everything, so far (don't want to jinx anything!) that our young couple has asked for.

Here they are, our loves, 

Tristan K. Buie-Collard with his fiancee Amber Felice Lamprecht

and Marjorie Buie-Collard with her fiance Michael Dallas Fought, Jr.

Tristan and Amber

May 10, 2015

Michael and Marjorie

June 27, 2015

 

Parents

Have you caught the “Ancestry.com” bug? At this time in my life I have but in a different way. I want to know about my parents. Do you ever wonder who your parents were before you were born? I’ve known mine literally all of my life, of course, but do I know who they were before me? I’ve always wanted a glimpse of who my parents were before I met them, like from a time travel machine but to see inside, who they were privately or maybe just to see who they were as people and not my parents.

Yes, I know basics like where they were born, grew up. What colleges they attended, that sort of thing. I know my grandparents names. I know what my parents looked like in photos from their youth, but who were they on the inside, the part no one else sees? I always wondered if or how they would be different if I met them back then. That “missing” information intrigues me. How does it differ, if at all, from who they are now as my parents?

AP "Pat" Buie, Jr.

Sue F. Wight

I’ve recently been lucky enough to read some letters to my mother when she was a young girl from her parents and friends. I also read letters she wrote to them and found that yes, she was younger, but I recognize her in her letters. I recognize my mother in that young girl/woman. I know I am a bit different now than I was when young and that maybe some of the things I did, the choices I made as that youth would surprise my kids. I’m sure if I could actually look into my mother’s memories I would find things there that would surprise me, too. But it felt comforting to find that I did actually recognize her in her letters. The “she” I know was there all along.

Sue before she was my mom

Now, after my father’s death I have found something different. There is so much about his youth I don’t really know. Like who he was before Korea, who he was before PTSD and survivor syndrome, who he was before a painful divorce and giving up three children whom he truly loved. I know of these events in his life but they are events. They aren’t who he was inside, before. I’m sure the young man that he was influenced how he dealt with these blows. With him gone I regret not asking enough, not pushing to find out more about the younger man.

Pat before he was my dad

So I’ve come to two conclusions. One, that though I didn’t know my parents before my birth, I know them now and I’m glad they were whoever they were before me, because that’s what influenced them in who they are (or were) now. And two, though I love the two people who brought me in no matter who they were before, I still wish, even so, that I could travel back in time and meet their younger selves…

Love Of My Life

Participating in the “First Loves” blog got me to thinking about what came after the first? Now it’s true what I wrote about my first love, but this does not mean I haven’t gone on to find someone even more important. Because I did, have done, and even though it took me awhile to figure out what “true love” really means, I did eventually get there!

My “Love of my Life” has come to me on slow but steady wings. I did not always pay him the due he was owed, but then neither did he with me. We took things too seriously. We had issues to work on like anyone else. A long time ago I saw a movie that I think was called “Baggage.” All through this movie a woman is carrying a suitcase that gets progressively heavier as her life plays out. I don’t remember how it ends (I was 8 or 10 maybe at the time?) but I remember the message. Everyone has baggage that they carry with them and bring to any relationship they have.

It’s what we do with that baggage that defines us. You watch any movie, read any book, listen to any broadcast and you find baggage behind that emission.  Whether it’s fiction or non-fiction there is always back story and it influences the conclusion of that emission.

My husband and I’s back stories/baggage/history got us in a lot of trouble to begin with. But we stuck out our “marriage” together. I think in reality that we each saw something in the other that we wanted more than we wanted our individual baggage. I don’t know what the future holds for us but what I do know is that we honestly made mistakes and worked through them to find ourselves better people, and so have a future to look forward to. We had A LOT of help doing this. By no means did we do it in a bubble.

What I have come away with is the truth of my love for this man. I am cradled in his love for me and feel blessed for it. But what truly astonishes me and makes me smile is that I have learned how to love with no expectations and a lot less ego. I love unconditionally, not in the Hollywood sense but in the real, down-to-earth, life-is-real sense. He is the love of my life and I am both grateful and excited that I found this out while I/we still have time to enjoy it, and boy do we!