I missed yesterday because we had to let go of our little furry bundle of love, Boney, and I couldn't handle anything. The loss is overwhelming. The grief is there, then gone, then back again. No way to control it. No way to make sense of it. No clarity. Just empty space. A hole. My eyes hurt. My heart is so broken I don't know how to fix it yet. I "know" time will help. But right now nothing does. I try to tell myself that people in Ukraine have it sooooo much worse than I do. But I relate to their grief and loss even more than I did before. My pain is real. Not to be diminished by others also in pain. This is what I tell myself. Nothing helps. I took off work this morning but will go back this afternoon. I will be brave. I will do what I must. I will not be able to not think of Boney, so I will let the tears come as they will and do the best that I can.
|Bonaparte (Boney) May 15, 2012 - April 6, 2022|
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