Reflections On Time 2021

Waking at 4:20 am, I find myself thinking, no almost obsessing on a multitude of things I am not doing instead of thinking of the things I have done or am doing. Maybe it's an age thing, feeling as if I'm running out of time. Time. Is it friend or foe? I'm not sure how to make it feel as if it's on my side. My father used to do this, worry and dwell on all the negatives instead of the fact he was alive, well and had a lot to be thankful for.

Is it the time of year? The holidays, the beginning of a "new" year? I'm not thinking of what I want to do in the new year. I'm thinking mostly of the people I didn't send Christmas cards to (everyone), the calendars I didn't make as gifts for the coming year. I'm dwelling on the things I want to make, the knitting and crocheting and mending I have to do, the book I'm not finished writing, all the books I didn't read in this last year. All the things I haven't done, yet.

What have I done with my time? I worked full-time all summer and this school year taking care of other people's beautiful children. I worked in my garden/yard a lot. I took care of my son (as I have for the last two years), who is doing so much better now. I am still (two months in) taking care of my husband who has a new knee that will be healing for quite some time. I realize this year has been one of taking care of others, which has narrowed my focus to this place. I have friends/family farther away than ever because of the pandemic, as we all do, and I feel I've let them down for not staying in better contact. See how that works? Chastising myself because of the things I didn't do while playing solitaire games on my phone, or hiding in TV programs and movies, thinking I was giving myself "a break", practicing self care. Somehow I don't feel rested, my body aches, and my emotions are at a loss. 

I love the people in my life near and far. They make life worth being here for. I don't want to lose them, or have them feel in any way that they aren't important to me. My sense of failure makes me cry. My love is keening for the chance to express it. My soul is lamenting the balm of reaching out to those who mean so much to me. And yet I also want to curl up into a ball and have time move on to a new and better place. I want the whole world to (still) stay away for awhile. Is this wrong? Am I just whining?This inner battle I don't really understand. I guess this reflection needs more time for me to figure out what it means. Time. Again. Friend or foe? Or neither?

My children, and me with my husband, lights of my life that remind me of what's important...

Emma, Adel & our son Robin 

Adel, our grandson

Our son Tristan & our pup Boney

My wonderful husband and me

Our daughter Marjorie & her fiancé Jon

February Comes With A Heart And A Recipe In Honor Of Josephine Wake

February has come in cold and white, which doesn't bother me since I don't have to go out in it too much (picture me saying: COVID). Yesterday I did a snow angel for the first time in years, and today it's disappeared under a new layer of snow.

Like my current work in progress I feel I'm finding layers that were hidden from me before. I wrote the original first version of this wip YEARS ago, and lost it (computer got wiped and I cried like a baby).

So I am going from a previous copy leading up to the original first version and already in the first three chapters my heroine has decided what I wrote before is not correct. She is much more tomboy in this one. I love meeting her this way. This is historical fiction, so I have room to work but also a structure I must follow. I like the challenge. I like my heroine. I like progress is happening.

I feel this novel will be all the better for me having waited to really meet this woman. Have you had that happen? Your character tells you what to do, or tries to work with you instead of making you go it alone?

Yeah, it's great, isn't it? Have a wonderful February.

In honor of our dear friend Jo, 

here is a recipe for quick and easy 

Pimento Cheese 

 my mother Sue Miller gave me.

Ingredients: 2 bags shredded sharp cheddar cheese, 1/2 a block of cream cheese, warm/room temperature, 1 jar (12 oz) pimentos (roasted red peppers), mayo to taste (I like about 1 tablespoon. If you like yours a bit spicy, add your favorite hot sauce or some diced chili peppers.

What to do: Cut up pimentos into small pieces. Mix everything together. You'll see why you want everything room temperature when you do. You can eat right away or let sit over night to marry the flavors.

February 3 question for IWSG - Blogging is often more than just sharing stories. It’s often the start of special friendships and relationships. Have you made any friends through the blogosphere?

Yes I have and I am so very grateful. I have been a part of a group for almost seven years now that I found from the IWSG/ABC Blogging Challenge (in April) and through all our ups and downs, we are still going. We've lost a few along the way, Jo is one of them, but we still hold them in our hearts. 

Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG

The awesome co-hosts for the February 3 posting of the IWSG are 

Louise - Fundy Blue , Jennifer Lane, Mary Aalgaard, Patsy Collins at Womagwriter,

and Nancy Gideon! Please go visit them and thank them for co-hosting today!

PS

I hate the changes blogger has made to posting here. I can't figure anything out that before was so easy to do. So pardon my unprofessional looking blog posts for now. I am still working out the roaches. Yes, these aren't just bugs to me, but roaches. Yuck.

baby image from: https://babygooroo.com/articles/decoding-your-babys-cry

IWSG 2020! Another Year Has Gone By...

IWSG 2020

2019 has come and gone and now we move into a new decade. For some reason I used to think decades lasted forever, but of course as I am older now, they don't last long enough.
This year is starting with so much uncertainty in the world. It is also starting with uncertainty in my life. I have only vague ideas of where I/we (my husband and I) will be in six months and even those ideas might not be what actually happens.
So, my word for the beginning of this decade, the beginning of this year is uncertainty, and I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way. I will do my best to "go with the flow" and take one day, one month at a time. I know in reality the next five months will fly by, so I want to be where I am until the future unfolds.
I wish for all of you a wonderful beginning and continuation of 2020. I hope if you too, face uncertainty, that we face it together and roll with whatever comes our way. Good luck in your writing and good luck in life! Happy IWSG day for January!

My hubby and me!

 Question of the month: What started you on your writing journey? Was it a particular book, movie, story, or series? Was it a teacher/coach/spouse/friend/parent? Did you just "know" suddenly you wanted to write?
Honestly, I think it was my father who planted the idea first. When I was very young, my sister and I had to write a story (with or without drawings) only a page or two long, for our allowance. I liked doing it. I think that's where the bug bit me. I went on to keep journals, and then to write seriously. It's a love/hate relationship, but one I can't seem to give up or ignore...

Please go by and thank the awesome co-hosts for the January 8 posting of the IWSG: T. Powell Coltrin, Victoria Marie Lees, Stephen Tremp, Renee Scattergood, and J.H. Moncrieff!